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Amy Anonymous
wrote:
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Hi guys,
I am writing to you today because I have a spiritual problem and I
am too embarrassed to turn to anybody I know.
First, I would
like to state that I am mentally competent. I am not clinically
depressed and I have not been a religious fanatic in my life.
Until recently, I did not believe what had been happening
to me, was anything more than an Old Testament occurrence.
I truly feel that God has told me this and need a reference for help. Here is my problem.
I have been attacked by Satan (or a demon of some sort) twice since
the beginning of my pregnancy. The first time, I did not
know I was pregnant yet and he told me:
- to feel angry with
my husband
- to accuse him of infidelity, and
- to leave
him.
The things he told me to do had no real basis. When
he told me to start threatening to leave my husband, I began
to give in. I also began to think about harming myself. I soon
realized that this was not something I would have ever done
in my life. I know this may sound like my pregnancy hormones
throwing me for a loop but I know in my heart, it was not.
I began to pray and realized that this was an attack and the
symptoms soon went away with God's help. I made the mistake
of believing that it was over.
Tonight, I was attacked again. He again whispered
to me that my husband and I should separate (my
husband is in Iraq right now). He made me believe that I hated
my child for what it would supposedly do to my relationship (although my husband and I are thrilled to be having
a child) and he
began to tell me to harm myself and the baby. He told me to
drink chemicals, to stab myself through the womb and to beat
on my belly. I did none of these. He then told me to slit
my wrists, which is when I realized that it was another attack.
I have never had the desire to die before.
Again, I cried out to God to take him, Satan, out of me. I told
Satan that he had no place in my heart and I felt my body battle
to remove him. My whole body hurt and I forgot to breathe, then
my soul felt lighter but I do not think he is gone from
me. I believe he is lying dormant, waiting for me to forget
this battle again.
I think that he hates my child for some reason
and I am asking for some help or a reference to someone who
can help me.
Please don't assume that I am crazy or depressed. The things I have
described are so far removed from my personality. If you knew
me, it would not sound so far fetched.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Amy
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Since I'm pregnant and being spiritually attacked, can you refer me to someone who
can help? }
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Eric replied:
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Hi Amy,
I am very sorry to hear of your situation; you must be terrified. I understand
why you are embarrassed and why you are reluctant to tell anyone. You have
valid fears.
First let me say that it is entirely possible that what you are experiencing
is a real demonic attack. On the other hand, without dismissing your convictions
or assuming you are crazy, playing devil's advocate (if I may
use the term!), the chances of that happening to someone are very
unlikely. It is far more likely that there is a psychological explanation
so we have to try to rule that out first. It is the nature of such conditions
that those experiencing them are convinced they are perfectly healthy so
we have to do an objective analysis. Again, it's not that I disbelieve you, just that I'm familiar with these situations and know that it is very
easy to be fully convinced you are healthy when you are not, so for the
sake of completeness we have to consider that. If it's psychological, then
no other solution is going to help you so we have to consider it. Don't
worry, I'll also address the situation if you really are being afflicted
by demons.
- Has anything else changed in your life since you've been experiencing
these?
- Has anyone expressed a change in your personality?
- How much sleep
do you get?
- Have you been spending more money than usual?
- Do you have
much more energy than usual?
- Do you feel much, much better than usual?
- Do you have any trouble getting
words out, like your words are stumbling on each other trying to rush
out?
- Have random, coincidental things started to take on meaning for
you, as if they meant something?
- How does Satan speak to you — is it inside your head
or by an external vision?
- Again, for the sake of completeness and not to
doubt you, why are you so convinced you are healthy?
Now let's consider the demonic possibility.
- Have you tried prayer to drive
off the demon?
- Have you tried praying to St. Raphael (who warded off the
demon who afflicted the bride of Tobias in the book of Tobit)?
- Have you tried saying the St. Michael prayer?
- Have
you tried blessing yourself with holy water or making the Sign of the Cross?
- Have you sought the blessing of a priest (you don't have to tell him
what's going on.)?
- Have you tried rebuking the demon, saying Demon
of divorce and suicide, and any other demons afflicting me, I bind you
in the name of Jesus Christ and command you to go to his feet and do whatever
he tells you to do?
- Have you tried the Rosary?
- Are you involved in
any occult practices, Ouija boards, Tarot cards, psychics, witchcraft,
The Secret, A Course in Miracles, or divination?
You don't say whether you are Catholic but living out the Catholic faith
can be a powerful help to avoiding demonic problems. If you are:
- Do you
faithfully practice your Catholic faith, including the Church's teaching
on contraception?
- Do you go to Mass every Sunday and on feast days and
receive the Eucharist?
If not, start. Renewing your baptismal vows may help.
Pray:
"I
renounce sin so as to live in the freedom of God's children. I renounce Satan and all his empty works and all his empty
promises. I reject the glamour of evil and I refuse to be
mastered by sin."
Pray
this now and when Satan is tempting you. Turn your whole life and
everything you do over to Jesus and vow to follow him faithfully
for the rest of your life, and ask him to free you from the power
of sin and Satan. Trust in Jesus, and he will help you through this.
If none of these things work (and that's possible. I'm not claiming that
they will.), if there is a charismatic prayer group in your area (call your
diocese), you might consider consulting a priest with them to see what
he can do.
He'll be open to the possibility that this is demonic but will
also know how to handle it if it is not. He can arrange for an exorcism,
if necessary.
Eric
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Mary Ann replied:
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Dear Amy,
This question is beyond our competence. You need a wise priest and a doctor
(and right away, for you own safety and that of your child). These things
are not so unusual and could have a variety of causes, including the ones
you mentioned (Of course, the devil tries to use every
sort of problem against us). I have only a couple of suggestions.
- If you are living alone while your husband is gone, find a relative or
friend to live with - right away.
- Talk to a doctor and a priest as soon as possible. Any priest will
tell you to see a doctor also, and a priest may know a good doctor if
you don't. Whether the origin of this experience is mental, physical,
emotional or spiritual, a problem on one level can always be helped by
treating the other levels, so don't worry or be alarmed if the doctor
or the priest does not perceive the problem as you perceive it. Do what
they tell you. Obedience is a great spiritual weapon
and doctors and priests generally know their stuff, especially
those in the military.
- If you are Catholic, it is always a good idea to:
- have one's house blessed
- to use holy water to bless oneself, and
- to wear blessed medals
with faith in God's protection.
Nevertheless, there is no substitute for seeing
a doctor and a priest.
Our prayers are with you and your husband in Iraq.
Mary Ann
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