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Abused
Anna
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
At about the age of nine, my biological
father began molesting me. I had been raised
Catholic and I remember praying fervently,
several times a day to God, for him to stop.
There are some wonderful stories about Jesus
and God intervening to save people in dramatic
ways, so I hoped He would save me from harm.
In my child's mind and heart, I believed that
God could intervene to alter my father's free
will. I know now, people can only be influenced;
this is the only way free will can be altered.
After doing everything I could to be the perfect
child of God, I realized my father would never stop hurting
me. As a result, I reacted to this by wondering if the Catholic religion and God were realities
and just went on trying to survive my rotten
upbringing.
One of the ways I discharged the anger at my
parents was by putting down the faith. In
fact, one of the last times I went to church,
I was forced to go by my father. He literally:
- dragged me through the house by my hair
- threw me over his shoulder, then
- threw me in the back seat of the
station wagon to go to church.
That was when I cut all ties and declared
I was an atheist.
Now, I find myself in my late 30's, and have
for years still acknowledged that, in some
respect,
I am still very much Catholic. I fear though
that Catholics wouldn't think of me as very
Catholic.
- Can you tell me if I can be an advocate
for the pro-choice and female clergy movements
and still be a Roman Catholic?
Thanks,
Anna
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After
an abusive childhood, would
Catholics still think of me as a Catholic with my current views? }
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Paul
replied:
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Dear Anna —
That was quite a story. It is a mystery
why God allows us to suffer so much,
especially at the hands of others.
It was a mystery to Job too, who
in the Old Testament was hit with
every calamity imaginable. He could
have cursed God or pretended He didn't
exist, but ultimately he would instead
embrace what St. Paul would proclaim
later in the New Testament, that
all things work for the good for
those who love God (Romans 8:28).
Even evil and suffering.
- How can God use something so
terrible as molestation to bring
about a greater good?
We can't see the big picture as God
does. Our job is to try and remain
faithful, despite all the sin and
injustice affecting us in this fallen
world.
Being for the choice to kill innocent
human beings in their embryonic and
fetal stages of life is not a sign
of remaining faithful; nor is contradicting
Christ by advocating for a female
clergy.
You still have love for the Church
or else you wouldn't be writing.
I would suggest you re-think those
positions, and if you have any specific
questions on them feel free to ask us.
Peace,
Paul
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Anna,
There is no intrinsic connection
between abortion and female clergy,
on the one hand, and incestuous molestation
and abuse, on the other.
Sex abuse
can influence a woman to mistrust
men and authority, so that one might
think female clergy preferable but
it can also cause women to mistrust
women, because one's own mother was
perceived as weak or enabling.
As for abortion, it is abusive to
women, and often used to cover up
child abuse by destroying
the evidence, the child.
I am glad that you have come to a
mature realization that God cannot
force people's wills, and was not
responsible for your father's evil
deeds.
I hope this is the beginning of you
being able to, no longer live in reaction
to what he did and its effects on
you. I also hope you can come home
to the Church and Her Faith; a Church
where Christ wishes to provide a
loving family for you.
Mary Ann
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