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Dear Timothy,
I am so sorry to hear about the horrific murder of your wife; it appears you have been burdened with a grave injustice. I will keep you, your wife, the D.A. and the murderer in my prayers.
One of the hardest things for any Christian to do is to forgive their enemies. This is more so the case when the offense is as grievous as the one you have endured. Your feelings and reaction are nothing less than human.
Nevertheless, what your priest said is correct. I, myself, have been hurt in the past by people and priests. The way I handle these painful experiences is by living more of a sacramental life. Through the sacraments, the Lord:
- heals us of previous pains and sorrows, and
- strengthens us so we can grow in a Christian wholeness of life.
Beside attending Mass and the sacrament of Confession, more often, I would recommend a daily prayer life. Personally, I would suggest praying the Rosary on a daily basis.
Strive to take your pain and suffering and unite it with the Lord's Cross on Calvary. Do this at the high point of the Mass, at the Consecration.
You said:
Nevertheless, I do not think all (sins|wrongs) are forgivable.
Well, the problem with that is, we end up making ourselves the judge of what is, and is not, forgivable.
Ultimately, we have to step back and remember Catholic Christianity is not a me-based faith but a Christ-based faith. If you are correct, and you have been treated unjustly by this D.A., he will have to account for it, like the murderer, at his Particular Judgment. Nevertheless, we can't let unjust people ruin our life.
You said:
I reminded him that Jesus gave us the power to hold people bound for their sins.
(John 20:19-23)
Jesus was talking to his Apostles in this passage; they would be His very first priests who would be given the authority by Jesus, Himself, to forgive people's sins or hold them bound. This is why we go to Confession. These passages apply to priests of the Catholic Church, not to lay people like us.
You said:
- Am I wrong for feeling this way?
After all, nobody from the Church has come out and asked us to forgive:
- Hitler
- Bundy, or
- other similar murderers.
That's because the Church knows it's none of our business. Jesus is the sole Judge for:
- you
- me
- your wife
- your priest
- the D.A.
- the murderer
- Hitler
- Bundy,
- and others.
Besides striving to attend Mass more often and praying the Rosary, find an adoration Chapel and spend a few minutes there. Bring the Lord everything Tim.
There have been times when I've gone to my chapel:
- happy
- sad
- depressed
- crying
- mad
- broken-hearten, and
- every other range of emotions.
and that's great!
Because I am human and we have to remember Jesus was a man, a human, like us in all things but sin. He understands our feelings and emotions, and why we feel the way we do.
- he understands and is with you in your pain
- he understands and is with you in your sorrow
and wants to mend you through the sacraments and prayer life of the Church.
Finally, after Mass, ask Father if he can give you a special blessing for your very heavy cross.
The value of a priest's blessing is something we can sometimes overlook.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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